Reformation

After Hurricane Katrina I got to hang out with some of the best/worst people in New Orleans and I realized that I wished this was how the Church ran it's business, too. History would have been positively different for it. Jesus showed in Scripture that Drunks and prostitutes are people to learn from - especially when they find freedom in Christ. My obsession with perfection, comparing myself to shiny, polished people hasn't helped a bit. Wouldn't be so much healthier with no more egos? No more personality cults. Just broken people coming together for the goal of redemption and serenity from God.

So I'm beginning to think this is what I want my church to look like:


[Church] Traditions - Adapted slightly from the AA traditions


1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop [destructive behavior].

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or [the Church] as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose-to carry its message to the [broken] who still suffers.

6. A group ought never endorse, finance or lend the name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. [The Church] should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. [The church], as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. [The church] has no opinion on outside issues; hence the Name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.


Amen, Lord. Let it be.

Watch for the Good Stuff

I forced myself out into the wintery wind. Everyone on the sidewalk of my street seemed to be wearing light layers, but the news report claimed that the windchill was below freezing. I had three goals in mind before going to the university vocal club in the evening:

1. Pick up package at post office.

Normally the five blocks to the post office is a somewhat pleasant experience. It's not the prettiest walk to the Suedbahnhof (south train station), but I rarely go that way so it's nice to see that part of the neighborhood. But, today I realized that the Bahnhof is actually at the top of a hill and is rather exposed to the elements. I took my trolley along to put the package in (and to help complete my next goal), but when I rounded the last corner, the trolley went airborne! It's very awkward to fly a kite/trolley while crossing the eight-laned Gurtle. I felt like a spectacle except everyone was just trying to walk in a straight line with their heads tucked so I don't think they noticed my wheels occasionally crashing on the pavement.

I made my way to the office where all my packages end up. I keep hoping that I'd have a repeat attendant so maybe I could make a nodding acquaintance at the post, but somehow their employee turn around is faster than my package delivery. I wait in line til it's my turn. I step up; after six months here I know the drill. The attendant mumbles something I'm positive is not German, at least not Hochdeutsch, and walks away. I stand there awkwardly. The guy behind me goes to the next available attendant. Everyone is comfortable with whatever that man said. For the thousandth time in this city, I feel five years old. I'm old enough to play along, but I have no idea what the grown-ups are up to. I obediently pulled out my Louisiana Driver License and package receipt and wait.

He finally returned, smiled at me ****first occurrence at the post office!!! I'm excited!***** then, he frowned shoved the receipt across the counter and growled, "Blah blah blah Taubstummengasse bleh". To add insult to injury, the name of the street that I SHOULD have taken my little piece of paper to - a friend of mine once explained to me that this phrase translates to "deaf and dumb street". Well, clearly, I belong there. But, it's too late to get there on foot in time.


Goal 2. Stop by a neighborhood cafe, get a kleiner Brauner, and connect with someone.

I fly my trolley back down the hill and turn toward home. I'm miserable. All the negative little voices that had been hiding in the shadows squeal with devilish delight as I decide the other two goals were not that important. I don't need to bond with anyone at the cafe and I don't need groceries. The package that my mother sent to me is out of reach forever - well at least until that office opens in the morning. Plus, if you freeze to death you don't need friends or tomatoes. Suddenly all those years of complaining about New Orleans summers seemed trite compared to the thought of six months of winter in Vienna. My skin aches at the chill. But, as I reach the third block I see the soft glow of a little neighborhood bakery that by some miracle of God was not closed yet. And they have an espresso machine.

I step up into the warm embrace of this island of comfort; two ladies greet me sweetly and the owner asks me if I need coffee. Yes! I do NEED it. I need it if I'm going to learn to love the fact that Vienna doesn't know how to the gentle Fall into Winter. And I need it if I'm going to get to the grocery store. She sees my eyes wander to the few remaining pastries and cookies. I haven't indulged in a long time and this is my moment to have just a little something sweet. But, horror, as she walks across the room with a kleiner Brauner and Krampfen, I realize, "Oh, Nein! Ich habe kein Geld!" and I open my wallet for her to see I only had receipts where euros should go. She soothed me back to my place and told me to enjoy - that she is closing up shop so I must eat and drink. I could pay her back some other time. I told her where I lived to give her some assurance that I would come back very soon. I have never loved all the mothers of Austria so much.

3. Pick up groceries and cleaning supplies.

After such an uplifting experience, and I realize my trolley is still empty, I fill that baby to the brim. Everything that I could possibly need in the next six months (okay, I'll probably have to go back in a few days) go in. With such a full trolley there was no taking the stairs so I waited for the "four person" elevator of my building to work its way down. A lady, who I must admit kind of scares me, walked up. She must be in her 70's and until recently I was sure she was the product of years of drug use. But today she not only slurred a greeting, she actually chatted with me! And she suggested that she go in to the lift before my trolley and me since I lived below her. I didn't know what to say. I mostly just nodded and tried to look sweet until I could drag out my trolley and wish her a beautiful evening. I love when people surprise you.

4. Uni Vocal club

I was late. Really late. Somehow I missed that this first Wednesday evening session would start at 8 rather than 8:30. But I got there and 8:40. I stood there for an eternity - until the automatic hall lights turned off - outside the locked doors. What could I do? I had told everyone that I was going to do this as a way to meet people, but this class was mandatory attendance! If I didn't do things just right I was going to have to admit to the world that I was a slacker that can't get to class on time. (Anyone who knew me in college already knows this very well, but I was hoping I had out grown this.)

But just as I has slid dejectedly down the wall and plopped on the floor, two ladies walked up the stairs and asked me what was wrong. I tried to explain in German, but eventually gave up and switched to English which, natürlich, they both spoke perfectly. Fortunately, they were the ladies to talk to: the ladies with the key to the classroom and offices, the ladies to pay off, and the ladies to discuss just how university class etiquette works. They were very gracious. Plus, I may have mistakenly given myself some clout with the students who watched me walk in late with those women and then leisurely join the singing. :-) If they only knew.

At the end of the day I have two conclusions: Life is always more complicated than I anticipate. And, my God wishes to bless me through this beautiful mess.

What are these here for?

This weekend I've been thinking on many things, but I suppose it comes down to flight. However, the two analogies I'm using are not exact parallels, so bare with me. And welcome to the way my brain works:

A Modern Parable* of Kierkegaard’s:
A certain flock of geese lived together in a barnyard with high walls around it. Because the corn was good and the barnyard was secure, these geese would never take a risk. One day a philosopher goose came among them. He was a very good philosopher and every week they listened quietly and attentively to his learned discourses. 'My fellow travellers on the way of life,' he would say, 'can you seriously imagine that this barnyard, with great high walls around it, is all there is to existence?

'I tell you, there is another and a greater world outside, a world of which we are only dimly aware. Our forefathers knew of this outside world. For did they not stretch their wings and fly across the trackless wastes of desert and ocean, of green valley and wooded hill? But alas, here we remain in this barnyard, our wings folded and tucked into our sides, as we are content to puddle in the mud, never lifting our eyes to the heavens which should be our home.

The geese thought this was very fine lecturing. 'How poetical,' they thought. 'How profoundly existential. What a flawless summary of the mystery of existence.' Often the philosopher spoke of the advantages of flight, calling on the geese to be what they were. After all, they had wings, he pointed out. What were wings for, but to fly with? Often he reflected on the beauty and the wonder of life outside the barnyard, and the freedom of the skies.

And every week the geese were uplifted, inspired, moved by the philosopher's message. They hung on his every word. They devoted hours, weeks, months to a thoroughgoing analysis and critical evaluation of his doctrines. They produced learned treatises on the ethical and spiritual implications of flight. All this they did. But one thing they never did. They did not fly! For the corn was good, and the barnyard was secure!"

*An English translation as quoted by Athol Gill, The Fringes Of Freedom: Following Jesus, Living Together, Working For Justice. (Lancer, Homebush West, NSW) pp. 30f.

~~
I am also reminded of a memory from high school. I came upon a newly emerged imago. As I looked at her wide body and wet wings, I thought of how this butterfly could not fly until her wings unfolded and dried; until that time she would be extremely vulnerable to predators. Some butterflies' wings take up to three hours to dry. I looked at the butterfly wondering if she was going to live. She wasn't moving her wings much and I so desperately wanted to help. I knew that my presence would keep away predators, but what if something was wrong? Of course eventually my attention was taken from the delicate process and when I returned the butterfly was gone. I had no idea if she had spread her wings to taste her first nectar or if she had become food herself.


~~
I often think about that moment because I feel that way with people, too. I see something new, the potential for great beauty and grace in a person's life. Perhaps they are awake for the time because of new life in Christ. Or maybe they have been healed from something that was crippling them and they felt their freedom for the first time.

But there is so much that can go wrong and I can not change the nature of life.

I pray that I will be a catalyst to encourage those emerging from chrysalises or eggs to spread their wings and fly. Because if we are content to stay on the ground and the patterns of the world of the barn yard we are born in, we will be eaten without ever experiencing what we were created to do.

love that adult butterflies are called imago because it reminds me that Christ is the, "image of the Invisible God," and, "If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation . . . that is, in Christ God was reconciling himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He had committed the message of reconciliation to us." (2 Corinthians 5:17,19) When we become a new creation in Christ, we are most our true selves, the image of God. (Genesis 1:27)

The only way I know to encourage flight is to fly myself rather than just talk about it. And for that I need to work on my wings (connection with God with knowledge and intimacy) and become sensitive to the Wind (God's Spirit). Then of course I keep an eye out for predators.

Don't let this world clip our wings - to nod at glorious ideas and never actually live. But vigorously flap our newly created wings, find a sunny spot, and fight for the taste of life.


Here's my question for you. Is it better to be in a barn yard, safe from predators but stifled from your true purpose? Or be in the wild where there are predators as no one to tell you anything at all?

My conclusion: I think you end up lunch either way if you don't get your wings and use them.

Further comtemplation:
Colossians 1:9-29

Mr. Bluesky

[So, clearly, I'm listening to ELO right now. Always reminds me of rockin' out in my brother's VW.]

In the past couple of weeks so much has happened internally and externally. I can't begin to tell all the stories, but enough to say that suddenly I have more to do than I thought possible. It's so incredible.

After almost 6 months of looking for a language partner and just being frustrated in that, I had two leads today!?! There's a Swedish girl in my Deutschkurs who told me that a German friend of her's wants a partner and she immediately thought of me. :-D I gave her my information. Let's hope it works out!

And then when I just checked my mail one of my co-workers found a site that he found a partner with really quickly. - Of course V speaks way better German than me. But, I'm going to try.

And, I as soon as I can get my paperwork finished I'm going swimming! Yippee!

What to Do Until Things Start "Happening":

1: Do all that paperwork you usually hate - check

2: Spend more time with God - This is key, but I've also been sleeping a lot.

3: Start a new blog - check

4: Read all those things you haven't gotten to yet - oh yeah, doing that!

5. Pray for the people you have met - what was that girl's name again? . . Where's that list?

6. Give yourself little projects to get a sense of accomplishment - eeh.

7. Go outside and join the world. - good idea.

8. Shop for supplies for those little projects. - even better idea! I'm off to Libro supply store~

I like Vienna

I do. Some times I hear negative comments about Germanic cultures, and I agree that it has it's weaknesses. But I just want to be on record that you do not have to believe all the hype.

True, they are sticklers for rules some times. Today I watched a lady in a minivan (they are rare, but they do exist here) almost get hit by a car that "failed to yield to traffic". What does she do? She stops in the middle of the intersection, just so that not only is she blocking three lanes of traffic, she also manages to make the cross walk impassable. WHY? Because she want to yell at the car that almost hit her and to get his license plate number to tell on him! She must have an amazing memory because she made a lot of fuss, as the cars piled up trying to find out why they can't go, of getting his plates by actually only looks at the plate for about .8 seconds. NO one seemed shocked or even amused by this. The driver that she was yelling at hardly commented back. Apparently this is how your supposed to handle an almost-wreck.

But there is a much more pleasant side to this. On the way out to visit those friends, I was reading on the U-bahn. At one of the stops my Eis Tee slipped out of being wedged from my knee at the wall and fell on the floor. The guy across from me immediately picked it up and handed it to me. I grinned up and him and said my sweetest, "Danke" to which he looked away as though I shouldn't draw attention to what he did. Or maybe I shouldn't have made eye contact. That's possible. And then almost immediately the young man next to me hopped up because an elderly lady got on the car. Then, when it was her stop she said, "Thank you so, this is my stop you can have your place." I wanted to hug everybody on the train. They lie when they say that people are cold here. They are just very very regimented.

Now if I can just find out the appropriate response to that man who stared at me off and on the whole time I was on the train and in the my train station. I mean, he turned around at the escalator to get a better look - and there was no one behind me. I mean, he was dressed nicely and usually his gaze was more, "Do I know you?" to "I can't believe anyone would wear what you have on." But, super creepy anyway because, you know, 15 minutes of studying me?! I know that staring is much more acceptable in Europe, but this was more than I was comfortable with. If I were in America I probably would have given him my most sarcastic face but that might have been taken as an invitation, so I just ignored it and slipped into the crowd at the top of the station, making sure he was far ahead of me and going a different direction before heading home. Any suggestions on creepy staring people?

Sand

Today I didn't go to church.

My internal clock has shifted thanks to the warm weather we've been having so that I haven't been going to sleep before 3am all week. I know that I could have gone anyway, and if I were more disciplined I would have, but the thought of waves of German washing over me just sounded staggering. Instead I've been listening to David Platt's Cross of Christ from his Secret Church series. And now I'm starting to think that these truths from scripture are washing over the same way! But, how inspiring, how empowering is the cross?!

I am most awed by the thought, the simple statement of the Gospel: Man replaced God as mans' authority and thereby sinned against God and separated man from God. So God replaced man as the object of justice to reconcile man back to God.

There are so many other jewels that I heard today, but I feel like they fall through my hands like dry sand. Hah! I'm actually praying that the Living Water would clump up these ideas so that I can hand them over to others.

Too many metaphors today?
Sorry.
Welcome to my abstract brain.

So, in a bit I'm going to go have dinner with some international believers who live in Vienna. I think this is church enough today. Maybe more church than a "worship service". Pray for conversation and relationships that will glorify our King. :-)

Neighbor #1 (Tunnels)

It never fails to amaze me the impact of music on me, and how the songs that have impacted me encompass everything everything I was experiencing in the moment.

One of my earliest album obsession was the Beach Boys Endless Summer. My brother and I played my father's LP over and over again to transport us in this magical world of beaches and girls who are celebrated just for being from California.

I have to admit that I was a strange pre-pubescent because of my obsession with Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. I guess I was going through the history of twentieth century music working through my parent's LP collection. I listened to that organ solo with awe who knows how many time, just sitting on the floor of my room. NO wonder I didn't fit in; I was about 30 years off from everyone.

Alanis Morssette's Jagged Little Pill even though it came out years before, will forever be the angsty blasting music of riding around with my college girl friends, angry at who knows what and having a blast screaming out the words together. Strangely, that album will always have a sense of community attached to it for me. I got rid of that album years ago, but I can't hear a song without being on the I40 in Knoxville.

Another Album that is forever locked in my college mind is Over the Rhine's Good Dog Bad Dog. It's a pretty obscure little album but my group of coffeehouse ragamuffins adored that album. I can't hear "Don't speak; words come out your eyes" without being at the girls' apartment with Brantley and Stephen melting us into melancholy bliss. "Ecetera, Whatever, I guess all I mean is we're gonna be alright." . . .

Then there are the post-Katrina albums. I remember crossing the causeway for the first time, the water's were still high from Hurricane Rita. My co-worker and new friend Rachel played Sufjan Steven's Seven Swans and that moment still comes into my head when I hear "the Transfiguration". I was having one of that God's fearing moments where I really had never been before. I feared that the water would lap over the bridge, but I also feared what I would see on the other side of that bridge. (for my xanga blog from that time period check this link and this out.) The song reminded me, fear not:

Lost in the cloud, a voice: Have no fear! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign: Son of man! Turn your ear!
Lost in the cloud, a voice: Lamb of God! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign: Son of man! Son of God!

And the next January after I moved back onto a "real" bed - sharing a futon with my generous roommate who understood my need to back in the city in any condition - rather than the cots of Riverside BC. The first track of Arcade Fire's Funeral. (This is what inspired me to write this entry, as you can see by the title.) Never have I had such a perfect musical representation of my emotions of the time, even though the lyrics are not telling the story I was going through. Somehow, I feel, it gives voice to my feelings of living at the beginning of a new world when they old one has ended and ill equipped to deal with this new world. The whole album has these hollow sounds and themes that I needed to voice from my heart.

Sometimes We remember our bedrooms and our parent's bedrooms
and the bedrooms of our friends
Then we think of our parents...
Well, whatever happened to them?!

You change all the lead sleeping in my head to gold
As the day grows dim, I hear you sing a golden hymn
It's the song I've been trying to sing...

Purify the colors, purify my mind
Purify the colors, purify my mind
And spread the ashes of the colors over this heart of mine!

This song came up in my play list today while I was cleaning my wonderful apartment in Vienna with more room than I know what to do with and, and suddenly I was driving on I610 dodging staircases (yes - I did have to dodge a staircase once on I640!) with tear blurred eyes wondering if things were the "same" anywhere and if I wanted to be there or if I was alright with this new, broken but growing world I lived in. At the time I decided that I did want to live and love New Orleans. My friend, Andrew, had lent Funeral to me and I bought it as soon as possible. That album stayed in my car and again and again the first track would be an anthem of acknowledging pain while choosing to live and find a new new normal.

I am trying to find a new normal again. The surroundings are so much more pleasant than my almost post-apocalyptic state I was in there, but sometimes harshly foreign. And I don't have the music for this yet. I have all these songs from past lives that don't speak to what I'm going though.

Any suggestions?

Psalms 139

I know, it looks like I'm cheating again, but no! I am declaring that it is my intention to memorize this Psalm. The Spirit brought this to mind while I was sitting above the clouds last week. And, today it seems just as important. So, I'm committing it, in full this time, to heart.

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

1O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
2You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
5You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

7Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
12even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

13For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written,
every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

17How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18If I would count them, they are more than(X) the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.

19Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

Encouragment through Poet's Voice

I know this is totally cheating, but I was reading Beth Ferguson's blog and needed to take hold of this poetry and share it with anyone unlucky enough not to read Beth's posts.


WE must not force events, but rather make
The heart soil ready for their coming, as
The earth spreads carpets for the feet of Spring,
Or, with the strengthening tonic of the frost,
Prepares for Winter. Should a July noon
Burst suddenly upon a frozen world
Small joy would follow, even tho’ that world
Were longing for the Summer. Should the sting
Of sharp December pierce the heart of June,
What death and devastation would ensue!
All things are planned. The most majestic sphere
That whirls through space is governed and controlled
By supreme law, as is the blade of grass
Which through the bursting bosom of the earth
Creeps up to kiss the light. Poor puny man
Alone doth strive and battle with the Force
Which rules all lives and worlds, and he alone
Demands effect before producing cause.

How vain the hope! We cannot harvest joy
Until we sow the seed, and God alone
Knows when that seed has ripened. Oft we stand
And watch the ground with anxious brooding eyes
Complaining of the slow unfruitful yield,
Not knowing that the shadow of ourselves
Keeps off the sunlight and delays result.
Sometimes our fierce impatience of desire
Doth like a sultry May force tender shoots
Of half-formed pleasures and unshaped events
To ripen prematurely, and we reap
But disappointment; or we rot the germs
With briny tears ere they have time to grow.
While stars are born and mighty planets die
And hissing comets scorch the brow of space
The Universe keeps its eternal calm.
Through patient preparation, year on year,
The earth endures the travail of the Spring
And Winter’s desolation. So our souls
In grand submission to a higher law
Should move serene through all the ills of life,
Believing them masked joys.
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

On the Way

Wrote this on the train. I'm sorry that things don't come out of me like they used to, but this probably only bothers me. Anyway, this is what I was thinking about:

I’ve been riding since Geneva, three countries and four trains ago. Sometimes looking at the beautiful views, thinking, and sometimes sleeping. I love how trains rock me to sleep. Right now I’m watching out the window, experiencing my first train ride in the rain somewhere in Germany or Austria, I’m not sure where. As much as I have loved the sun shine the past week, I’ve missed the rain and welcome the gray sky. As I look back on the past two weeks or so, I’m taken aback by God’s great hand revealing itself so clearly. I think of my grandfather’s death. How surprisingly it reminded me of my purpose to rescue the perishing; of the worship with my fellow workers; of tears of awe and gratitude.

Right now I’m reminded of a week ago. Last Thursday walking home from dinner, many of us found the steep wooded path back to the hotel too dark. I remembered that I had a small flashlight (thanks to my mother’s passion for them) in my day pack. After I guided my own group, to lighter places, I guided others who were behind us. Martha remarked as I guided her group that this was symbolic of my life’s mission and I agree with her. All the same, as I get closer to home, I wonder what that will look like. I feel so ill prepared.

My mind goes back to yesterday, when I was hanging from a gondola with my aunt and uncle, visibly trembling and clutching my aunt hand as we ascended to a peak of Mont Blanc. I felt so completely out of control and so at awe of the scope of the thing we were climbing at a rocking pace. At times I thought there was no way I could survive. There as an silence among my fellow travelers that told me even the well worn travelers were not immune to the sheer magnitude of the heights we were taking on. Of the view. Of God’s majesty stretched across miles and miles in clear view; above the tree line; above the clouds; where the snow never melts away. We reached the top and I was exhilarated by the views and the adventurers who had clearly climbed their way there; People who had camped on the mountain top. I felt so ashamed of myself for trembling at the thought of taking the gondola back down, but I had no idea what to expect. As it turned out, the trip was not a harrowing as I feared. I was able to marvel at the sites without fear of death.

I pray that I similar thing will happen with my life work. I pray I will have the courage to face the heights far beyond me. I pray that will be challenged by those far more accomplished than me. I pray I will find that I can marvel without fear of anything but the awe of pleasing God.

When Dreams Wake

Today was grueling. I have to admit, because everyone I was in contact with today knows it, I spent most of the day in a wad of self pity. Nothing deeply upsetting; everything was just a little off from my expectation. And, my shoulders are rugburned from my backpack. But, I'm tired of all that now. Now, I thinking about the fact that I'm sitting in a parlor in London. I just had delicious Afghan food - that's still deciding what it thinks of my stomach.

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with double-decker buses gliding through these tiny streets. Sitting in the front window of the second story is too much like some dreams I've had of flying. Which made me think that really all I've been doing lately is living out all my favorite dreams. I've wanted to go to London since my mother came home with a tea set from her trip to the UK when I was five years old. I've longed to live in Europe. I've dreamed of opening my mouth and something other than English comes out.

These waking dreams are not as easy. They are humiliating and sometimes unnerving. But, I am living the dreams God has given me. I pray I have the courage to continue to live them all out. And, tomorrow I'll wake into my dreams again.

Til then I must sleep to make new dreams for the future.

Transitioning

I know, I would be thinking, "again"? But, yes. I'm realize that's I'm transitioning again.

This past month has been hard. Hard to get up in the morning. Hard to make my mouth make the sounds it's only made for a few months. Hard to make myself pick up the phone. Hard to see my parents leave after a whirl wind trip around Vienna, Prague and Zurich. Hard to not go to my grandfather's funeral.

I'm not saying this isn't a wonderful life. My friend Ambra is going through the same thing in Milan and I think she's written it much better than me here. I can't wait to see her and Jenn again. So we can exchange stories and . . . I can't wait for this meeting. I feel like it's the night before Christmas - except we have to ride a train for 8 hours to get to the presents!

I'm also looking forward to another whirlwind trip after the conference to England, France, and Switzerland. I'm hoping that all this, besides being a wonderful adventure and time of togetherness with the people I love, it is a time to "pop out of gear" before setting in on a new phase of my time in Wien without full time language school. I'm gathering up my courage as we speak to really dive in when I get back. To let go as I haven't before. To seek out opportunities to grow and invest.

If You Pray . . .

Today (6 July) I started on the fourth book of my German course. I'm still struggling thought, but I'm so motivated to really get all my verbs down so I'll make sense! And, I'm still loving the language. I agree with my friend Maggie, I love how expressive it is.

My friendship with B has all but stopped. She no longer answers my calls. I don't know if she is out of town or what.

The good news!!! is that I met a girl this past weekend who is the daughter of the neighbor of my teammates, the Ingrims. I was with them when the Ings gave her a Bible in a modern translation along with a simple reading guide. A wants to learn more about God and is thinking of getting Baptized in her Catholic church. We exchanged info and I wrote her an e-mail yesterday. Please pray she will want to get together - especially that the Bible and other spiritual things will come up in conversation so we can make sure she understands the Gospel and that that she is being equipped to share the Good News with her friends.

Friday was Mag's last day in Vienna and we had a wonderful time together. She has a renewed sense of purpose as an opera singer and seems focused on continuing to honoring the Lord with her life! Pray for her as she returns to her school that they will recognize her growth and a singer and as a woman and that she will have opportunities to share Christ through that.

Continue to pray that God will give me patience during full time language learning. I want to be out there connecting, but there is a definite language and time issue because I feel like I'm always studying. Please pray that I will get lots of language partners so I can learn fast and so I can have some German speaking friends!

The Bordens left for the USA for six months on 18 June. Please continue to celebrate and pray over C's recovery. She is cancer free, and has shocked her caregivers, but still has a lot of healing to do after surgery. Also, pray for our team as we get used to life without our leaders close.

Preparation

(Written mostly last week)

Today I am sitting on a new bed that I have been working on assembling for the past three days. The frame itself was rather heavy and it turned out that I hadn't purchased the reinforcement bar that goes down the center of the bed. I had quite an adventure on the hottest day we've had yet getting to Ikea via a long U-bahn ride and a bus. Then I tried very hard to seem that I didn't think it was odd for carry and meter long five cm sq piece of greasy metal through the public system. Actually, no one seemed to care but me. I mean, the Ell's transported my leather bench from Caritas (charity used store in town) to my apartment the same way. Clearly, the system is used to people who don't have cars needing to move things from the store to their homes. My little American brain is just not used to it.

Then, I discovered that the wooden slates that Ikea uses rather than boxsprings was a big, difficult puzzle that took the amount of time to listen to three chick flicks from the other room - on my newly functioning DVD player! By the time Audrey Hepburn was falling in love in Paris When is Sizzles, I was confident that I had done a good enough job to try out for the night. Just a little bit of adjustments and it's the most comfortable bed I've ever had - and I've had some good beds.

This is all in preparation for my parents coming to see me next weekend. I'm so excited about our plans to see the sights of Zurich, Vienna, and Prague. I'm sure there will be a post about this soon. :)

Before Coming to Vienna

My parents are coming to Vienna to visit me in a few weeks so I've been thinking of how to prepare them for their experience in the exciting everyday life. And, I'm realizing their is a growing list of words I wish I had known from day one. This is mainly for my parents, but those in the know are welcome to correct and seggest other words!


Hello: Grüß Gott!, Servus!, Hallo!
It's polite to say hello to shop workers, anyone who is serving you in some way, people staying the the same building as you, and people you've met before. Greeting other people, depending on the situation, could be seen silly to them but won't do any harm. I've found that "Servus" is more light-hearted and sometimes flirtatious so I don't say it to strangers because I'm not sure how they will take it - but it's good to know what others say to you.

Thank you: Danke!, Danke schön, Danke sehr!, Vielen Dank für ___. (Many thanks for ___.)
The people in my neighborhood grocery always say Danke sehr so I've started to pick it up. Vielen Dank is the best response when somone goes out of their way for you.

No thank you: Nein danke, Gar nichts.
You will say Nein danke more than you can possibly imagine to street vendors and ticket sellers. Trust me, NEVER say "no thank you" if you can POSSIBLY keep it in when you are walking in touristy areas. That's like blood to a shark. Save Gar nichts for those moments when they won't leave you alone. It means "nothing at all".


Excuse me: Entschuldigung! [en- chul -di-gung]
There are many variations to pronouncing this, so just emphasize the "chu" and you'll communicate. :) Sometimes people sound like their sneezing on the U-Bahn! This is also the best way to get the attention of the your server.

Push: drücken
This is important for not looking like a fool while leaving a building or trying to get in one. I wish I had known this three four months ago.

Pull: ziehen
Just for contrast - if you learn one you'll be fine.

Entrance: Eingang ("ein" means in)

Exit: Ausgang, ("aus" means out)
There are signs all over the city that warn pedestrians of driveways that cross the sidewalks with "Ausfahrt" which literally translates to "outdrive"

Emergency: Notfall
As in: Do not go through doors marked "Notausgang"

Help: Hilfe
This is the same as the English - it can mean assistance in any way. You're most likely to hear this when someone is asking, "Kann ich Ihnen helfen?" (Can I help you?) If you do have an Notfall and need Helfe, call 133. The operators should speak English so no worries.

I'd like to pay my bill: Ich möchte bezahlen. [ix mux-te be tsah-len], zahlen?
They will not bring you the bill until you ask for it. Depending on the situation just a motion to you wallet is enough, but sometimes I feel like I have to beg. By then they know you can't speak German (and that Americans tend to tip) so they will try to be helpful. When in doubt, say Bitte! It is a catch all polite-ness word. This is also great for ordering. If you can't pronouce something, just say, "Bitte, ich möchte" and point to the menu.

May I ____? Darf ich ... ?
This is important, but you'll need to learn some verbs for this to work. Still I say this and motion what ever I want to do that I'm not sure is appropriate. This came in handy when I had the mind to ask the doorman when I saw quite a commotion of foreign officials leaving a hotel in a parade of flag-marked cars. He responded in English, "I would not . . . ," looking very wary at the gentlemen in uniform a couple of feet from us holding big guns. Lesson learned. Asking first is smart.

Goodbye Auf Wiedersehen!, baba, Tschüss! [af vedersen] [bas-bah] [choos]
To people you're not friends with, you'll pretty much want to stick with nothing more casual than "Wiedersehen!" But, if someone says "Tschüss!" feel free to say it in reply. It really sounds a lot like "choose" sung because people tend to say it in their upper register. "baba" is pretty much baby or sweet talk, so you'll probably only say that to me or five year old Libby.

OK, that's all I can think of for now.
Any questions?

Hmmm. Obsessive Compulsive?

I used to give my mother a hard time about her obsession with flashlights. It seemed once a month she would hand me another one in case I had car trouble at night on a dark deserted street or the electricity went out and I HAD to see where I was going really really well . . . But I just realized that I've lived in Austria for three months, and I have four pairs of scissors - just for convenience. Did I mention I live in a two bedroom "Cabinet" apartment???

It is a sickness.

Things are moving slowly here, but God is so good to always give me a glimpse of what he's doing in the Vienna. I just met a very like minded Catholic guy. We could have talked the Gospel, Chesterton and Lewis up all day. And this weekend I met up with a couple I had not seen since we met in Moscow two years ago who want to work and live in Vienna if they can get the funding they need to stay. I love that they came for the summer to do what they can - and they already seem to be hitting the ground running working with refugees and other internationals living in Vienna. And there's M who always amazing me with her young mind that always seems to how to not only understand but also sees how to obey the Scripture when she reads James with me. I wish we all had such insight, but I am encouraged but what God shows her and I'm so excited to be apart of her growth.

Alright - those are my random thoughts for the night.
Gute Nacht.

Recovery

Compared to what some of my friends throughout the world have to deal with, I was not sick last week. I just had a little bug. But, I was pretty much flattened out by it, and I found out that three of my co-workers had the same thing. And, yes, because I'm a stupid American and went back to school too soon, now both of the people who sat next to me last week are "sehr krank". But they were in class when they were clearly still contagious so I don't feel so bad.Who knows, maybe we'll keep passing it around our little class of 13. There was a major leap in the vocabulary of my classmates when I switched classes, so I might appreciate a few days head start on some of them. Just kidding.

My days are still very full of studying, studying, going to the opera, and studying. If my internet connection continues to behave I should have some pictures from the opera house up shortly. I loved getting to see Lucia in the standing room area. That alone deserves a nice long entry, but I just can't pull myself together to share the trama of long lines, fighting, people getting thrown out of line, and the battle to the "best" spots. I had no idea that going to the opera could be a contact sport. Welcome to Vienna! But, of course the perfomance was incredible no matter where you ended up if you could get the tourists to stop whispering explanations and the lastest news on the GM situation.

In other news, my window boxes are slowly taking shape to enliven our very depressing courtyard. I just planted some English ivy. I asked about five different people at the Nauchmarkt what they are called in German, but when I found someone, to be honest, it just sounded like heavy breathing, like "Echeh" or something. My friend from the end stall walked me around from flower stall to flower stall with my purchases unpaid trying to find someone who could tell me because she is not a native speaker. She could only tell me how to care for it, which is all I really needed. All the same, I'm glad I found some evergreen for my place. I also planted a potato that was going bad in a bare place and it's coming up beautifully. I'm not sure it will stay pretty, but for now I'm thankful for a little green.

Well, back to German lessons.

Thanks Ed

I was sitting at my desk looking up the past and imperative tense of the 40 most common German verbs, and as you can probably imagine, my mind was wandering. I drifted to Twitter for the tenth time and I noticed Ed Stezer's twitter asking why "missional" Christians are not into missions. From the context that Ed is traveling through Europe right now, I'm assuming that he meant that they are not into cross-cultural communication of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thinking about his Twitters and blogs, I got to thinking:

A little background to catch you up:

"Missional" Christians believe that Jesus is who he said he is. The Bible is a perfect gift from God that reveals the Truth to us and, together with the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we are changed into the likeness of Christ - and this is where life gets interesting. We recognize people who haven't converted think that we live strangely.

Christians throughout history have responded in different ways, but missional Christians live their lives in community that intentionally strip off the "Christidom" stuff. We live like our non-believing neighbors in every way except that our lives are focused on Christ and the community He builds. We are activist citizens believing that people can change their own culture for the better. And, we make friends with the hope that they will see our hearts and after conversations, looking through the Bible, working with us, and that mystery of the Holy Spirit working in their lives, they will choose for themselves to follow Jesus.

But, our brothers in faith are concerned that we are not crossing cultures and therefore are not obeying the Great Commission that is Jesus' last command to His disciples recorded in the Bible.

MY POINT IS:

Christians who are really "missional" are focused on their own people group. And, a person can only focus on one culture at a time and have a chance of actually be part of it or have a positive impact. I also believe that cultures can only be changed by those who are from within. No social justice can be created or preserved without those who are within the community to demand it.

Starting with worldview, the complexities of life within a culture are enthralling. So, if you are paying attention to what your neighbors think about life, how that effects their opinions. If you are looking deeper at what is important and how you can change the world, meaning you're ten block radius starting in your own circle of friends - well starting with you. Those who are doing this are glorifying God and changing people's minds about God. Maybe it's because God wants to use His people to be the changes and the miracles that everyone in the world is starving for.

Obviously, I have personal reasons to pull out and go some where completely different and become a child again - so that people who would not otherwise understand will have a chance to see and hear the Gospel in my life. But, I've been called and equipped to leave and become a perpetual catalyst/learner outsider, rather than an activist insider. (There are many reasons why I pro missions, but that's not they point of this entry.)

It's hard when you're already deeply invested in people's lives to pull away and focus somewhere else where you know that the object of focus will never become completely clear. It's hard to learn a new language knowing you will never get the subtle jokes. I love it, was made for it, and I thank God every day for it. But, I do not expect every believer to cross cultures just because most English translations of the Bible says "go" instead of the Greek's "as you are going."

Looking to the future:

So I say to those who are still in your home networks: If you will focus on loving God and loving people in your own community, it will change the world more than if everyone went on "mission."

I hope, that's what missional churches are doing. As they mature and get to know their communities, they will see that their community is already connected to communities all over the world. And, I pray that they will act on those relationships, rather manufacture activity out of obligation. Networks are already in place all over the world, and if they are activated, who knows what could happen.

Ciao, Bella!

Yep, I actually had this said to me to day, in context, by an Italian tourist who asked me directions. I was walking from Deutsch classes, so needless to say when a beautiful man pulled up in an Italian luxury car and said, "'Scusi! Eh, como stai? Lie Parla Italiano?" I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth.

Some how, "Bene, Ja, Ein poco," came out while pinching my thumb and forefinger together. He smiled really big. "Un poco, bene."

He then said, slow and beautifully of couse, "C'è un ristorante nelle vicinanze?" and fortunately he gestured to jog my memory, "Ach, ja! Ja, muuuulti multi RistoRante am der Ringstrasse." with the most flurished rolled R's I've ever done, pointing to the major intersection up ahead of us and making a circular motion.
"Eh, Certemente, grazie. Ciao, Bella!" And he drove off.
And I thought, what language am I even speaking!?
Could "si" not comeout of my mouth once?
All well.

I wanted to call Ambre to let her know one of her people came to see me, but I'm still dont' have her number (hint, hint).

Alighting

My apartment is getting settled. There are still many things to do, but they list is shrinking almost every day. This weekend has been the first time it's really sunk in that I'm here for years. Years of important moments and days that will be so very different from what I'm known before.

I can't really say that I missed my cousin's wedding yesterday because my parents took pictures of every moment from hair appointments to the last dance and many of them are already posted. When I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that T&R were "gettin' hitched," as my niece put it, at 2am my time, Paul gave the play by play with some commentary thanks to his cool phone and Skype. (He usually does something similar for Pred hockey games, so I'm glad he was well practiced.) But, I still missed so much. I missed my family's side whispers and hugs.

And, today I'm missing getting to spend time with one of my favorite people in the world. I don't get snuggle up to her and nuzzle her hair - so much like mine but white at the temples - and tell her how much I love her and why I think she's so beautiful. I can't tell her how much I brag about her; how I can't seem to let many hours go by without thinking of or doing something she taught me. I love to share the history and culture of Vienna with her because she's the one that taught me to love and learn about places and people.

At the same time, as she and I have talked about many times before it was, in part, her teaching and our relationship of shared passions that gave me the courage to come here in the first place. It is her passion for the nations that taught me to long to go to another culture. But even that would not be that meaningful if she hadn't shared with me the one person we are the most passionate about: our Lord and God, Jesus. She really taught me through her actions as well as stories that all people have cultures that enable them to uniquely experience and praise Him. And, over the years she showed me that the best teachers empower her students to become the their best selves. They teach people how to learn for the selves - what no person can give. I pray that one day I can say that I have released half the people she has from the labels and habits that people pass on to each other.

I am not saying that my mother is the only reason why I'm here by any means; however, I cannot overstate how God used her to equip me to be here. So, today I am reflecting on the life I've had with my mother and I look forward to many more years of her wisdom and grace in my life - despite the necessary distance to be able to fulfill the purpose of my work.

Love you, Momma.

Today so Far

I know that those of you in the States are just starting their day, but I thought I've sahre a little of my day. (For those of you who are curious about my life.)

So, I woke at 7:30 this morning from a dream that I was a Kaiserin washing dishes. And my mother Kaiserin was completely appauled but explained that it was soothing.

I talked to God for a while but then God - or just my brain finally kicked in - gently reminded me that I had fallen asleep while watching "When We Were Kaiser" excepts and forgot to actually DO my Deutsch hausubung (homework).

So, I hurried my morning ritual - except for breakfast because muesli yogurt cannot be hurried - and walked to my U-bahn station in the flow of about twenty neighbors. I walked to the middle of the train so as to not get lost in the maze of the Karlsplatz station. I was a little disappointed because in my rush I didn't think through that the station is only two stops away so I wouldn't have time to do my Hausubung, but I might have been able to figure out the weather forecast from "Heute" (Today) the daily free paper that is half tabloid but it's free so I stare at the pictures and try to find words I know.

I was successful at passing both bakeries in that part of the station and surfaced at the right place so I could walk along B.gasse along with many classical musicians. This is about the point in time that I usually pretend that I'm going to rehearsal rather than German class. But, evetually, they all walk into the Musikakademie and I continue a few more feet to my Schole.

Class was good today, though we all seemed tired and under prepared. So, I was in good company. We learned enough today that I found out that Tob. is 19 years Old from Turkey. Tian. is from the Ukraine and she and J, aus den USA, are both divorced. They are all planning on returning home. Only the Ell's and I are staying on.

I also learned that if I say "mein freund" I mean my boyfriend, but if I say, "ein freund" we're friends. My instructor lives with Ihre Freund, so that word clearly means much more to them than "someone I know that I get along with."

But, the real test of my Deutsch was that right after class my phone rang. I'm glad I just checked my calender and was expecting a call from the inspector from Wien Engerie. I had to say in front of my teacher, "Entschuldigung, Ich spreche ein Bisschen Deatsch. Bitte, sprechen Sie Englisch?" She smiled encouragement. (Yay!) Unfortunately he only spoke a little English so we had this half and half conversation and then I high tailed it to the U-bahn not knowing if he really meant twenty minutes to my apartment or not!

I ran and caught the back of the train so as to not get lost in my train station then ran/walked up both escalators to the surface. I arrived as some of myneighbors were leaving so we all said our "Guss Gott"s. I beat the inspector but three minutes. He looked around, poked at some things, tried to explain the situation to me in technical Deutsch with the occational English to clarify that he was going to punch holes in the ceiling outside my apartment to add ventalation for my water heater, and then talked to the architect who did the renovations of the building and decided it wasn't necessary after all. I tried to act like I had something to do other than stare at him - especially sense he is my age, cute, and single.

He eventually explained that, "Alles gut blah blah blah" Deutsch. Pointed to an x that I signed next to. He asked if, "blah blah Ihre handy nummer Ok on de form?" And he headed out the door. He said, "Tut mir leid, blah blah blah alles OK."

So I said, "Kein problem, guten Tag!" because that's what you say when some says tut mir leid and they're walking away.

And now I am contemplating rye crackers with butter and jam and some hot rooibus tea for lunch.
And a nap maybe.

Feeling Rather Poor

Yesterday I spent ten hours being a true Wiener. I met a girl who is born and raised here and she showed me around and we just talked, explored, drank, ate, and talked some more. I LOVE this French cafe she introduced me to and all her friends were so charming. I wish I could go into more detail. . . but I don't have much time. Enjoy pictures!

Did I mention . . .

Did I mention that I fell on the escalator the other day? I've been so proud of myself for not being freaked out by the sea of escalators in public transportation stations. However, the other day my fears were re-awaken on my way to meet up with my team.

I was walking down the escalator, the only person doing down while three or four were going up because rush hour was over, when my it suddenly stopped! And, because was was already moving forward at a pretty high rate I jumped at step then tripped a couple more. This would have entertained the other riders enough, but I also squealed a bit making sure to draw attention to myself.

Why do Viennese run down escalators when things like this can happen???

Chaneling

No Cable (no TV either, but that's beside the point.)
No phone (Yes, I got Cake in my head, too.)
No internet (That one's the real bummer.)

Today a UPC installer came to house and politely ignored all my drying laundry as he tried to get me all connected with the world, but after working for almost on hour he concluded that something was not right and the company will call me and make another appointment.
ct that I can see the Technical University Library and street cars from my window.

My friends have been so incredibly helpful. I already feel like family. We had a meeting this morning that was more like a house ch gathering than what I usually think of meetings. The financial and business orientation meeting is on Friday so everybody please pray that I will suddenly grow the capacity to understand money matters! I'm sure Lance, my supervisor, will be give the remedial version so I will be sure to keep up. I mean, I got my first energy bill today and I can't read it at all! That and my other bills and contracts are going with my to get this all sorted out.

Speaking of my super. Carrie is recovering beautifully after her radiation and chemo therapy. Thank you all for pring. Her sugery is coming in five weeks so pray that she'll be able to exercise so she can keep her strength up after the surgery. She's taking really good care of herself and the doctors say that the tumor is not even visible anymore, so I am confident that Father is giving her a solid cure.

Expectations

Today is really almost over for me. I registered as a resident of Wien. Got a bank account, a washing machine, duvet, some other odds and ends, made an appointment to get wireless and land phone line connection, and as I hope you'll see, posted pictures.

There are few things I was not expecting:

1. People who are working are polite and some are quite gentle and helpful.
2. Vienna is quiet but not as oppressively as Moscow. People do laugh and talk in public. Just not as loudly as Americans. Although it was odd that you're not even allowed to hammer on Holidays.
3. Sadly, Crocs have infiltrated to Austrian homes, mostly as slippers to wear at home. And some adults wear them in public! This horror actually makes me feel more less like a country bumpkin. But, if I ever see them in my neighborhood (other than tourists) I'll be shocked.
4. Chuck Taylor's are the height of Holiday weekend fashion here. I can't afford them, but it's good to see them around.
5. My deodorant brand is sold in regular Walgreen-type stores.
6. Hungary is good, cheap, close shopping. I can't wait for the next shopping excursion with the ladies. They even get their hair cut there.

It All Depends on Who Asks

Such a wonderfully slow day after the craziness of yesterday. I'm still a little weirded out by the German style keyboard I'm typing on right now, so pardon any typos.

Yesterday's Ikea run was very profitable for me and my new place. Seriously, I was so grateful that I was able to go in there and find things that would work for the apartment and perfect for having friends from all over enjoy with me. I went for a more modern look. No surprise that in a lot of ways, my living room is starting to look a little like a cafe. I have many dreams in my head but we'll see what really works out. I'm still just amazed, because of how Ikea does things we were able to pack a couch, two chairs, a dinging room table, a day bed (the same style as mine in the States), and plenty of other odds and ends all in the back of a mini van with one of the back seats still instaled! Not that CE as very comfortable in it I'm sure but he was a total trooper about his squished seat and then unloading all that had been squishing him. We got a fabulous parking place thanks to the Holiday lack of people so unloading was a lot easier than expected - although I should mention that I did not carry the heavy things up all those stairs. And, I have learned to love my elevator.

Speaking of floors: one of the questions I had before coming here was, "What floor is my apartment?" It was hard to tell because the number was so odd. As it ends up, if an American were to ask me, I would say "the third." If an Austrian were to ask I would say, "the second." But I would also say, "but, according to the elevator: the first." And, to add to the complication, there's a letter on my apartment "number" because my apartment was once part of another apartment, which accounts for some architectural oddities. I'm also not all together sure which button at the front of the building will actually buzz my place. Probably there will be an experiment needed tomorrow.

I wish I could post pictures, but I haven't dug my adaptor out of my bags yet and I don't feel like messing with the B's computer to upload, edit, etc. Sorry. Really I am. I want to see the pictures and read your responces, but hopefully I can get that going by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Today, the whole gang (minus one of the boys how is not feeling well and his dad) went to one of the nearby parks in the hills close to town - can't remember the village name. We walked, sang, took pictures, sang. Of course there was an Easter egg hunt. The other people at the park were entertained by us. I learned a few German terms for foods and other related topics. The picnic was amazing with lots of sandwiches, hummus, and plenty of crackers and veggies.

Speaking of, I think I'll go have some more hummus for dinner!

I live where!?!?!?

I don't have much time because I haven't unpacked my power adapter and my wonderful hosts can't find any, but I just want to say that I can't believe I'm here! I'm in Vienna - that place on my mind for so long is all around me. And, my friends have been so warm and welcoming. This transition is already going easier than I thought. Now if I can only learn German . . .

I'm sitting in the B's living room with Em B and I can see amazingly cool neighboring apartment buildings (pictures to follow) and in the distance, the central district, Vienna University's Liberal Arts buildings, and beyond them the hills (that are alive with the sound of music). To their building's left is the hockey arena where the Vienna Capitals play. The parking lot under the building reminds why I don't have a car or plan to drive! It's takes skill to get to the parking level where their tiny parking place is.

Yesterday I got off the plane and was greeted by the whole gang! They loaded me into the cars and we headed to the B's where I had some time to relax and enjoy some pastries Em and Addi got from a local bakery. Then I set out with the ladies of the team to see my apartment. My U-bahn station is so much closer than I thought! And the Belvedere is practically at my doorstep! From the maps I was thinking off scale. The blocks are quite small so there is a lot within easy access. I never thought I would live near embassies, but here I am!

My building is gorgeous and pink! I just can't get over all the details in the entry. It's early Art Neveau looking. (At this point I'm even excited about our tiny dumpters and recycling recepticles int he courtyard). My mail box already had two wonderful cards from my mother and the mothers in the group took notes to remind them to do the same for their kids when they move from home. I must say, I'm a little intimidated by the cage lift in the stairwell. Good thing the stairs are an easy climb so I can avoid it. My flat is beautiful and still dusty from on-going construction so I'm very glad I get to stay elsewhere while we tie up loose ends. Looks like I can have window boxes for the many plants I keep eyeing at every shop.

As we left the building, someone was delivering a very impressive grand piano to one of my neighbors. All I saw were the legs, but by the gilding I'm guessing that not all the apartments will be as modest as mine! The few people who passed the building were mostly young and one of my friends says he saw a couple of girls my age who looked like they were moving into the building when he came by to check on my place last week. This gives me hope I may be able to make friends with my neighbors. There were no signs of life from my two closest doors, so I'm hoping I will be able to help my neighbors when they move in.

There are two little grocery shops to pick up milk and such within a few steps from my building, but the street market to too close not to go to regularly! There are fabulous cafe's and the restaurant we went to for lunch was perfect; complete with a vine covered courtyard seating and white cat. As one walks to the Belvedere the prices go up (but I can get more Klimt gift shop essentials than could ever want - including a silk scarf apparently Sharon Stone bought), but I'm hoping that if I walk the other way things will be a little more reasonable. :-)

It is spring in Vienna so flowers are EVERYWHERE. It's striking to me how similar the plants are to Tennessee - especially Knoxville. I feel very much at home here among the daffodils and those yellow blooming bushes I can't think of the name of. The air is crisp and there is not a cloud to be found. Of course there are quite a few new trees, but I'm eager to learn their names.

After our girls gathering we went to the Coop I's Birthday party. I was wiped out by then so I didn't participate in the egg dying as I was afraid it would not end well. So, instead I was given the impossible task of judging the eggs are the brilliant egg-artists. I was SO grateful when 19hr came so pizza was picked up and I knew that sleep was coming soon. I'm sure the pizza was amazing but I don't really remember other than that it was rectangular and HUGE. All I know is by 20.30 I was asleep on the most wonderful bunk-bed ever. I'm getting tired just thinking of how tired I was!

Today begins the adventure of finding the perfect furniture for my wonderful apartment - and to stay in budget while we're at it!

My last NHL Hockey Game or the Miracle of Creation

These days, my mind drifts to thoughts of Vienna, but I slip back to the more comforting thoughts of the day's duties and joys. The unknown is too much for me. Better to let it come slowly as the horizon spreads across the land and the ocean.

My dear, amazingly creative friend B Chu came for the weekend and we did girlie things like get hair cut at a fabulous salon, pedicures, and a little packing with lots of conversation and hugs. She's making ADORABLE Japanese stuffed animals (Amigurumi) as her craft-project-to-sell-for-spring-clothes and it was amazing to see skeins of yarn turn into sweet cuddly creatures.

This idea of creation - wonderful things coming from the basic blacks into something miraculous just - keeps coming up in my life. I'm really struck by my nephews newness and yet how complete he is in his infancy. I can see aspects of what he will become from his still forming body. Clearly God can use us to make things. He made us to be creators, inventors, and artists. This also gives me hope that God will do a new thing through me in Vienna. As incomplete as I am, God can draw together things that naturally fall apart.



Last night my dad asked me to join him for one last hockey game. Honestly, I was not that excited to go because sports can sometimes (please DON'T tell my family) bore me a little. Add to the fact this was my last Saturday night in Nashville. . . I was just tied up in knots wanting to do everything and nothing. So I went with my father to the game, in my mind, to spend quality time with him.

What I didn't realize is that the Predators really needed to win this game to have a chance at the playoffs and that this night, of all nights, was Scout night which means there were hundreds of kids in adorable uniforms so excited to be there. When my dad suggested I stand just inside so I could see all the pre-game stuff while he stood in line to get us pizza I was touched by the scene. As ticket holders came in, the usher recognized and greeted people by name. Folks were all smiles in anticipation. The players all came out and the crowd roared. It was going to be a wonderful night.

Then, these little miniature scouts came out the colors and the American flag was highlighted as we all sang the American National Anthem. Half way in the middle of the song it hit me. This was the last time. It would never be like this again. Something new and wonderful is around the bend for me, but there will never be another night like this. The usher shyly looked my way wondering why I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I smiled and explained this was my last game before moving to Europe. "Oh, baby, go on and tear!" Nashvillians are very pro-emotion.

After sitting up in our usual section for a while, a family asked if we would trade seats with a couple of friends of theirs so they could watch the game together - so we ended up watching the rest of the game on the first level of the stadium! For the first time I could really see, hear, and feel the energy of the game. And what a game! We finally won in the third round of shots in the shoot out. I almost lost my voice I yelled so much. High fives after each score is the best kind of quality time.

IT is good to end well so that I can begin well, too.

Mein Liebling

He's here!
My nephew is here.
And all those over-used sentiments about aunts and nephews are coming true. He is the brightest and most wonderful thing I've ever seen.

Every moment I look down on his little face and see his searching eyes I feel my heart get tied to him. Every grunt is precious. And he is especially cool because when he gets really mad he almost whistles like a sweek toy! This would not be good to continue to do this for very long, but at three days old it's about the funniest thing ever - except that I would do anything to make him happy again so that he'll open his eyes and search for our eyes with his wobbly head.

I'm hooked. It will be impossible to leave him. But, I will so that he can have that cool aunt who will teach him German some day, an aunt who lived in utter obedience to the God who created them both. So, this morning has been all about assessing what there is left to do before getting on that plane. This is not as fun as holding him, but I guess I should like Christy and Paul have a shot at holding their son.

What Happens Before Things Happen

Tonight there is so much energy at my parents' house and not just because there's a Predators game on. My sister-in-law and brother are at Baptist hospital awaiting the coming of their son. There are probably many hours left to go so we're patiently waiting for the call to come over. I'm so thankful I get to be here for this time with my family. More family is coming in town tomorrow.

As much as I'm so looking forward to being a Viener, I would not miss a moment of this.

Learning from a Guru

Today I went to a lecture by Thom Wolf, an American professor and pastor who has been living in India. The wisdom he has shared with us in just a matter of hours has really made an impact on how I will converse about the way we live and "who we listen to" in the future. First, I will listen more. And, I will ask more questions. but even when I to talk about the most important thing to me, my words are going to be a little different.

I've never felt like I could express my faith in Jesus in such a global context until today. I've made him too small and too much just my tribal God when cultural anthropology (not to mention the Bible) shows me He is the Most High God of all peoples - and they already know that if they have held on to their own people's stories. I said this before, but I do not want to import anything from America (other than fajitas and po-boys . . . Tabasco. . . ).

I won't go into it now because I fear that I won't do it justice, but he did this presentation of the history of the world (worldviews in their historical context) on a page. And not just a page but something I could scribble out on a napkin. It's a great frame work that can be fleshed out over many conversations. And, my favorite thing was that none of the information was knew (although I'm not sure I put together the fact the prophet Daniel, Confucius, and the Buddha were all at the same general window of time). It was just all put together in the big picture. Amazing point of view!

I was really challenged by his presentation so I did something I don't' usually do: I bought a book for myself and a friend who couldn't make the lecture. Then, I sat down and finished the book with in a couple of hours even though it was on a different subject from the lectures. This book was for a Indian audience on the Baliraja Proposal of the guru Mahatma Phule for the future progress of India. (Clearly, these are things I knew very little about but his writing is accessible enough to glean quite a lot from it.)

While I was reading, I noticed a theme in his book that reflected a theme Dr. Wolf taught in a separate lecture on how to be a universal disciple of Jesus - just from the teachings of the Bible. God demands of all His people: walk in faith by putting off some things and taking on other things that please Him (honesty, immigration, no idols, transparency, rejection of empty ritual, and taking on of individual religious conviction), love God and He enables us to love everyone including our enemies (compassion, accountability, conversion, invite outcastes to your table, hard work), and hope by promoting justice (education, allow outcastes to drink from your well, impartial government, gender equality, social reform).


I'm not sure how all this will flesh out in my own life, but I will be directed by these themes, these teachings, these mandates from my God. And, I hope that people in Austria will show me how God has always been working among their people and how they will see the love of Jesus and the power of His resurrection in their lives. And, how their lives will be altered for the better because they are in Christ. Life really would be so different if we obeyed the Scriptures. It is not easy, but I hope others will agree that He is so worth every drop of our sweat and blood.

Almost Spring

For three days snow has covered that ground. I love how much lighter the world is because of this water that covers the ground. All this sleding and walking in snow is turning my mind to Austria like never before. Ever time I look out a window I think of true winters to come. I think of the coming spring.

Hopes and dreams are forming in my heart. (I really hope I can figure out how to actually make things happen.) I would love to do a website that people can go to to pray for the different neighborhoods of Vienna. I want to pray around the boarders and see the characters of each place and share with other people so they can catch the vision.

I can't wait to see my apartment and my coffeehouse; my streetcar stop; my u-bahn stop. I want to see the faces of the people there. I long to walk through the botanical gardens and find my favorite spot. I want to meet my future friends. I want to find out how to order coffee; I want to find my new rhythms. I can't wait to take ballroom. I hope I can find people who love jazz.

As you can see my mind and heart are leaving this place.
Pray I can finish well here so I can start well there.

Why Are They Called Colds?

Sorry I fell off the radar for a while there. I've had a cold. Which means that I missed a lot of lectures and got to know the ends and outs of my little dorm room like the back of my hand. Actually, I mostly slept which is really sad because my parents came to visit. I had so many plans and I'm not sure we accomplished anything. I'm really sorry about that, but I'm still grateful they came.

Anyway, I'm on the mend now so be prepared for profound writing any time now. . . but, if I continued now most of what I have to say would be discussions of mucus, so I'll spare you and make this short.

At least I'll leave you with the postings of pictures on Flickr. (see the top right box)