Today is my father's birthday. I miss him very much so I'm going to brag on him.
This morning at 5 o'clock I was awake from another night of sleep not wanting to come. I finally used the amazingness that is Skype to talk with mommy. Then my daddy and I starting talking. I felt free to be my hypochondriac self by quizing him on his experience with hyper thyroid and its treatment to weigh in if my jitters, emotional oversensitivity, fitful sleep, and crazy dreams could be accounted for by an inherited malfunction. He patiently talked me through without judgment or trying to fix anything. He trusts I'll eventually go to the doctor if I think something is really wrong but still managed show his concern that I don't walk in a daze into traffic.
Earlier in the night I listened to one of Mark Driscoll's ranting about his own precious relationship with he daughter. He talked about snuggling, going on daddy daughter dates, and all the emotional affection they have for one another. I am so thankful that my dad and I have that today, too.
As I worked through the morning I began to reflect how thankful I am for such a dad. I would not be the woman I am today without his influence and love in my life.
When I look back to when I was small my father was a youth pastor and I remember climbing into his arms as he talked with students as if I were a part of who he was and how safe that felt.
One of my earliest memories of understanding the Gospel and my mission in life is connected with my father. As part of some illustration for his students, Daddy put me at the end of a partition-wall maze. I was the "lost sheep" that Jesus and his followers were to go seeking. I still remember seeing the back-lit silhouettes and Daddy reaching down to pick me up after waiting for what seemed an eternity.
After realizing my need for Jesus to take control of my life so that I could have the power and grace that my parents and others had, I walked the aisle to my Daddy who picked me up to announce to the church his joy. He was nervous to Baptize me so we practiced the night before the service.
I remember when he took my to Kirov Ballet when the troop came to San Antonio. He bought me the fancy program of their performance in matte finish photographs - a great treasure I looked through again and again.
I remember how he didn't flinch when as a senior in high school I changed my plans from joining him in architecture as an interior designer to a major in vocal performance.
Daddy also didn't flinch when after five years of undergrad, I realized I cared more about musicians than performance. He supported my decision against grad school and professional singing to be a part of God's mission in cities. He counseled me through decisions and didn't pressure me to go to his alma mater. When I did choose New Orleans, he treated it as my decision in my life - not his - so if I changed directions again even after one semester of seminary, I should feel free to do it. I can't tell you how affirming that is.
When I wanted to stay to do relief work after Katrina, he didn't pressure me to come home to safety or left me to my hair-brained devices. He listened. He prayed. He supported. I had never felt so much that Daddy trusted God with me and me with God.
He expresses pride in my choices which has given me hope while living in Vienna as I have struggled with loneliness and worry so far from friends and family. When I made mistakes or was processing through ideas, he has been there.
He and Momma have both taken time out of their busy schedules to visit, but not only that, to experience the culture of Europe together. There's nothing like going to the Louvre with my Daddy. I was also grateful for how tall he was when we all got separated in the crowded Sistene Chapel. And I will never forget how we discovered Mexican food in Rome after a morning at the Colosseum.
We can now talk shop about the condition of churches, how we can better disciple people, and what conventions he's going to. I can be nerdy and academic with him.
I'm so thankful that he has clearly been a prayer advocate for me at work and at church by the number of people who has written to say they're praying for me.
He has talked me through my questions and stories about boys and then men through the years. He puts things into perspective as I see what I loving man acts like. My mother and I have always been very close an we're always talking on top of each other. My father is quiet and it took me years to realize all the treasures that come when I ask him his thoughts and seek his counsel. I treasure our times together.
I can't wait to be home and just snuggle on the couch and watch Castle marathons or go out to lunch with him.
So, I pray that you have a wonderful birthday, Daddy. I am so honored to be your daughter and my heart is full of love for you.
10 November 2010
20 October 2010
Season
I have had enough kind complaints to make me realize that I've neglected this blog.
So what's going on with me?
My days are still surrounded by the project that has kept me busy most of the past two years. If you'd like to see some bite sized pieces you can check out
My Vienna Blog
I still sing in the University of Vienna choir. The holidays concert season will be filled with songs from Latin America (yes, I'm getting explanations of how to pronounce Spanish, Portuguese, and Haitian Creole from an Indian man in Austrian German. My head hurts, too.) We're also singing some songs that our conductor wrote himself including a setting of the Prayer from Francis of Assisi,
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
It's a rather strange setting of the lyrics so the meaning of the text is somewhat obscured, but even so the students are rather stumped by the words. I pray that this prayer that I will pray and sing with my fellow singers will somehow open the door to their hearts of a divine master that can do these things and how that can free them. I hope for conversations of why this poem is meaningful to me as it connects with truth from the scriptures and in my life as a servant of that kind master.
Romans 6:2-7
We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
So what's going on with me?
My days are still surrounded by the project that has kept me busy most of the past two years. If you'd like to see some bite sized pieces you can check out
My Vienna Blog
I still sing in the University of Vienna choir. The holidays concert season will be filled with songs from Latin America (yes, I'm getting explanations of how to pronounce Spanish, Portuguese, and Haitian Creole from an Indian man in Austrian German. My head hurts, too.) We're also singing some songs that our conductor wrote himself including a setting of the Prayer from Francis of Assisi,
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
It's a rather strange setting of the lyrics so the meaning of the text is somewhat obscured, but even so the students are rather stumped by the words. I pray that this prayer that I will pray and sing with my fellow singers will somehow open the door to their hearts of a divine master that can do these things and how that can free them. I hope for conversations of why this poem is meaningful to me as it connects with truth from the scriptures and in my life as a servant of that kind master.
Romans 6:2-7
We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
13 September 2010
It's been a while
I don't have the brain power to say much, but I want the world to know that today I have on red nail polish that matches my watch. It makes me very happy. I put it on yesterday while I was watching Oceans Eleven which made the whole process cooler. And, today I didn't have my transportation pass with me so I had to walk around the city to get to my appointments, which was okay because I wanted the world to see my fabulous nails.
Of course, that was tainted by the swirling winds that made me wrap my arms around myself and tuck my fingers under my armpits. Tainted, but not destroyed. I still felt pretty.
Of course, that was tainted by the swirling winds that made me wrap my arms around myself and tuck my fingers under my armpits. Tainted, but not destroyed. I still felt pretty.
27 August 2010
Rant. Forgive me.
This is in response to an opinions column a friend posted today by an acclaimed historian and writer. I would expect more from such credentials.
Even if every person registered with the Republican Party IS purposely ticking the rest of the world off because they like being dumb, this was a petty ...piece. There was no new insight on current world issues. He's re-hashing events that have already been discussed ad nauseum. If there was still a need to write about these issues, might it have been more helpful if he had explained the differences in historical perspective of American conservatism and liberalism and how they play out on street level accusations that seem ungrounded in reality? Maybe then people would be more understanding and have more tolerance for each others beliefs. That would be a good read. This is "they are stupid; we are enlightened" fluff.
I'm disheartened that educated Americans would nod in agreement because he's been approved by the publications elite. I don't buy the, "take it down to their level by acting like the worst of them" way of arguing. I find it degrading and not constructive against your opponent. But that's my taste.
I think that a lot of the problems of American politics is not that they disagree that much. Americans believe in the principles of the constitution, which is radically liberal document. They just disagree why.
One camp tends to think government is a necessary evil - and should be limited to simply upholding the rights its citizens. However, power corrupts, so power should be spread and kept as local as possible where is it held most accountable to the people. It must protect the rights of all citizens; however, government social programs are a sign that the people failed to do it privately. An ideal extreme government would be pure anarchy protected by an army.
the other camp believes a democratic government is, by nature, positive and socially centered. When the government is at it's best, all the the citizens are released to work for the greater good rather than for just personal gain because the government provides all needs: roads, infrastructure, clean water, food, shelter, jobs, education, and medicine. There is less division between branches and power is centralized because it's a good thing for the best thinkers of the nation to think globally and act locally. An ideal extreme government would be pure communism with no army.
Being a moderate, as the majority of the US is, I think that a functional government is somewhere in the middle. But somehow, the two main moderate parties of America have developed a language barrier between "liberals" and "conservatives" that the media uses (including your author) to make it sound as though it's impossible to understand the other side because the other side is incapable of understanding us. I think that's wrong, no matter how cleaver they are in doing it.
What this author should have done was create a rally cry for less entertainment and more education in the media. I'll keep dreaming.
Even if every person registered with the Republican Party IS purposely ticking the rest of the world off because they like being dumb, this was a petty ...piece. There was no new insight on current world issues. He's re-hashing events that have already been discussed ad nauseum. If there was still a need to write about these issues, might it have been more helpful if he had explained the differences in historical perspective of American conservatism and liberalism and how they play out on street level accusations that seem ungrounded in reality? Maybe then people would be more understanding and have more tolerance for each others beliefs. That would be a good read. This is "they are stupid; we are enlightened" fluff.
I'm disheartened that educated Americans would nod in agreement because he's been approved by the publications elite. I don't buy the, "take it down to their level by acting like the worst of them" way of arguing. I find it degrading and not constructive against your opponent. But that's my taste.
I think that a lot of the problems of American politics is not that they disagree that much. Americans believe in the principles of the constitution, which is radically liberal document. They just disagree why.
One camp tends to think government is a necessary evil - and should be limited to simply upholding the rights its citizens. However, power corrupts, so power should be spread and kept as local as possible where is it held most accountable to the people. It must protect the rights of all citizens; however, government social programs are a sign that the people failed to do it privately. An ideal extreme government would be pure anarchy protected by an army.
the other camp believes a democratic government is, by nature, positive and socially centered. When the government is at it's best, all the the citizens are released to work for the greater good rather than for just personal gain because the government provides all needs: roads, infrastructure, clean water, food, shelter, jobs, education, and medicine. There is less division between branches and power is centralized because it's a good thing for the best thinkers of the nation to think globally and act locally. An ideal extreme government would be pure communism with no army.
Being a moderate, as the majority of the US is, I think that a functional government is somewhere in the middle. But somehow, the two main moderate parties of America have developed a language barrier between "liberals" and "conservatives" that the media uses (including your author) to make it sound as though it's impossible to understand the other side because the other side is incapable of understanding us. I think that's wrong, no matter how cleaver they are in doing it.
What this author should have done was create a rally cry for less entertainment and more education in the media. I'll keep dreaming.
01 August 2010
Pound Puppy
For the past week or so I've been staying at my friends' house watching their wayward dog. She's a mess. She eats everything in her path if you leave her alone. She gets hyper and wants to play with her wet toys as the worst times (while I write this insightful blog? no - now she's asleep) and she cries, growls, and sometimes pounces at the bugs that at time only she can see. Another friend warned about the time she got into her cooking chocolate stash. Another set of friends won't allow her in their garden...
But, she's the most affectionate creature I've ever been around. She snuggles at my side whenever I sit down and even sleeps on the bathroom carpet while I shower to be near me. When I tried to take her on an U-bahn escalator she gladly compromised by wrapping herself around me when I picked her up. After watching her, I think this dog just needs another dog in her life to not be so neurotic. But, that's not what is going to happen in this home. This family is wonderful but they have decided they are not a good match for her and they are tired of having their things eaten. My friend told me that when they return they're going to find a new home for her.
So I'm sitting her tonight with a beagle attached to my side, knowing her future is uncertain.
And, I'm the just same.
Sure, I have skills this dog doesn't have. I have parents and friends who support me no matter what I decide to do. I know the God who leads both our paths. I'm not doubting all that. I'm simply thinking that I can't stay here in Vienna. And I don't know where my next home is. I have six months left. I have made dear friends and have hopes for God to really move in the lives of people I know. But I can't stay. And, I know from my life and my skills I will probably always keep me moving on. Most of the time I love that. It's just times like this, while I'm looking down at her as this dog growls in her sleep, when I realize I can't even adopt her because my life is as wobbly as hers. I feel homeless and I miss "home". Whatever that is. Maybe it's just because I've been sick for the past week and traveled a bunch before that. That's probably why I feel this way. When I'm more connected with friends and out in the city things will feel better.
I'll reconnect.
That's all the home I've ever really needed this side of Heaven. Just to know that there are people out there who care for me deeply, who embrace me with their hearts and pray for me. My brothers and sisters, the love of Christ in you is my home. I guess that's true for all of us.
Living on the outskirts of the circles of faith has shown me a lot about the time and resources that the Bride of Christ spends on her love of religion and tradition for its own sake. But more, I've learned the importance of having people to remind each other of the unfathomable Truth: that we don't belong here, that God - Jesus has conquered death and the grave and is preparing our true home. There is something so essential in the gathering of believers. Yes, to teach newbies, but also just to remember. Remember. We're doing this for a reason. Our God lives and He loved us perfectly enough to be the way for us to connect with Him. So now we have, "Christ in your, the Hope of Glory."
Six months is a long time in dog years.
May I finish this well.
But, she's the most affectionate creature I've ever been around. She snuggles at my side whenever I sit down and even sleeps on the bathroom carpet while I shower to be near me. When I tried to take her on an U-bahn escalator she gladly compromised by wrapping herself around me when I picked her up. After watching her, I think this dog just needs another dog in her life to not be so neurotic. But, that's not what is going to happen in this home. This family is wonderful but they have decided they are not a good match for her and they are tired of having their things eaten. My friend told me that when they return they're going to find a new home for her.
So I'm sitting her tonight with a beagle attached to my side, knowing her future is uncertain.
And, I'm the just same.
Sure, I have skills this dog doesn't have. I have parents and friends who support me no matter what I decide to do. I know the God who leads both our paths. I'm not doubting all that. I'm simply thinking that I can't stay here in Vienna. And I don't know where my next home is. I have six months left. I have made dear friends and have hopes for God to really move in the lives of people I know. But I can't stay. And, I know from my life and my skills I will probably always keep me moving on. Most of the time I love that. It's just times like this, while I'm looking down at her as this dog growls in her sleep, when I realize I can't even adopt her because my life is as wobbly as hers. I feel homeless and I miss "home". Whatever that is. Maybe it's just because I've been sick for the past week and traveled a bunch before that. That's probably why I feel this way. When I'm more connected with friends and out in the city things will feel better.
I'll reconnect.
That's all the home I've ever really needed this side of Heaven. Just to know that there are people out there who care for me deeply, who embrace me with their hearts and pray for me. My brothers and sisters, the love of Christ in you is my home. I guess that's true for all of us.
Living on the outskirts of the circles of faith has shown me a lot about the time and resources that the Bride of Christ spends on her love of religion and tradition for its own sake. But more, I've learned the importance of having people to remind each other of the unfathomable Truth: that we don't belong here, that God - Jesus has conquered death and the grave and is preparing our true home. There is something so essential in the gathering of believers. Yes, to teach newbies, but also just to remember. Remember. We're doing this for a reason. Our God lives and He loved us perfectly enough to be the way for us to connect with Him. So now we have, "Christ in your, the Hope of Glory."
Six months is a long time in dog years.
May I finish this well.
30 May 2010
Brokenness
How do we respond to brokenness?
That is the question of the day for me. In the past few weeks I've been reminded of bad decisions in my past that I'm still making amends for. I've realized as much as I have personal, spiritual freedom from my brokenness because of Christ's righteous redemption in my life. All the same, as I look out of my own internal world, the world overall is broken. Just broken.
I've been haunted by an evening I had among young people recently. Most of them were native English speakers. I slowly worked through the crowd. I only knew two girls there. When one guy and I looked at each other, however, and he commented that he felt like he had seen me before. I said I felt the same and expected that round of, "where did you study?", "Did you go to this camp?", but instead he said, "maybe at the strip joints? Do you hang out near the brothels ever?" I was speechless for a second. I think I responded something about if he had seen me there I would have been talking to the girls working there about their lives, not mingling with the men there to use them. I walked silently away as he and his buddies talked getting weed for a friend who just got a new video game and wanted to waste away fro the next few days after his mother came to visit. His words threw me into this stream of thought I wasn't expecting as we were surrounded of the natural beauty of Vienna.
From his other comments that he was merely being a thoughtless jokester and I even chose to believe that he didn't join the throngs of sex-tourists who support this life-killing system that always walks hand in hand with outright slavery. But, my feelings about the sex industry are so strong that even to joke about the existence of the brothels here in Vienna made my heart sink. I remembered the Romanian immigrant, who was leaving her work place at a brothel when she was set on fire by an un-known man. She still is in a coma in critical condition. Of the orphans I had spent time with in Moldova, knowing that some of them would very likely to be end up in those brothels without intervention.
Later in the evening I heard enough other conversation from another guy to want to do him critical damage by the way he was talking about women. All the while his current sleeping companion (of the week apparently) sat quietly under his arm. I wanted to tell her that she deserved to be with someone who actually liked women and valued her as a person.
Despite the fact that Vienna hast been called the best place to live in the world it is not true for all of her inhabitants. The realities of life will always be filled, either externally or internally with scarcity. People will forever grasp for the feeling of fullness, of completeness. Many have no scruples in using others to find that ever-unattainable fix. The wealth of the city clearly does not make her people immune. One only needs to see the headlines of the latest scandals, or the latest bragging of one's neighborhood megalomaniac.
But, as a believer in Christ, I know I don't have to play this Life-boat game of devaluing other people to survive the scarcity of this life. So, how do I respond to the comfortable, upper-middle class, young people who have been taught to take all the can get - as long as with the next breath they talk about alternative fuel sources and morally consider which groups are freedom fighters and which are terrorist groups? I know they are grasping, and for them I want to show them life made complete in Christ, but what about the people they're stepping on, or at least supporting the people who do?
06 May 2010
Witness.
Just before 3 pm on 6 May 2010 I was walking down the pedestrian zone of the 10th district toward Reumannplatz Looking for C&A department store on the left side of the street. At first I was looked down the side street to the left to see if C&A was on that street (it is not). As was about to cross the street over the entrance for Keplerplatz U-Bahn station when movement caught my eye across the pedestrian walk way from me. I saw a man of average height in a black shirt and jeans pushing and hitting a small woman toward the corner of the building across from me. She had on a black silk had scarf in the style Turkish women wear. When he began to kick her in the stomach I realized that they were not just fighting but that he was angrily beating her. She had her head down and was being very submissive while trying to get out of the way of his blows. There were a few women at this point who were reaching for her. I could not understand anything they were saying and I could not run across to help because an ambulance was about to pass by and then the light changed. I did yell, “stop!” At that point the man began to run the opposite direction of me, and three men who also looked Turkish began to chase after him. I tried to decide if I should stay to help once the light changed or if there were enough concerned people closer to the scene. I prayed that justice would be done and thanked God for being a God who hears the cries of the oppressed, but I closed my eyes as compassion overwhelmed me and I lost sight of the woman who was attacked.
I crossed the road and saw that the men were successful in catching the perpetrating man. They had him pinned in an alcove of a side door of a cafe or something close to the corner where the incident occurred. There was a small crowd looking on. I confirmed that the man who had hit the woman was taller than me, black hair, dark complexion. I think he was Turkish from what I could hear, but I do not know. His shirt had writing on the front, but I didn’t not see it clearly. One man in particular seemed to want to hold him there and seemed to be questioning the man. I could not understand what they were saying. The perpetrator looked very angry. I asked a man closer than me but he had not seen enough to tell me anything. After a minute apparently they decided to let him go because he squirmed away and went right past me. No one chased him again.
After coming back from C&A, which is a block away, I saw the police talking to the woman who was attacked near where the incident had happened and decided to give my information as a witness.
I crossed the road and saw that the men were successful in catching the perpetrating man. They had him pinned in an alcove of a side door of a cafe or something close to the corner where the incident occurred. There was a small crowd looking on. I confirmed that the man who had hit the woman was taller than me, black hair, dark complexion. I think he was Turkish from what I could hear, but I do not know. His shirt had writing on the front, but I didn’t not see it clearly. One man in particular seemed to want to hold him there and seemed to be questioning the man. I could not understand what they were saying. The perpetrator looked very angry. I asked a man closer than me but he had not seen enough to tell me anything. After a minute apparently they decided to let him go because he squirmed away and went right past me. No one chased him again.
After coming back from C&A, which is a block away, I saw the police talking to the woman who was attacked near where the incident had happened and decided to give my information as a witness.
18 April 2010
Dark Cloud
Somehow PC&I were able to make it through the ash before the airport closed in London. I never thought for a second that the ash would make it this far, but sure enough, the Vienna airport is closed now! As much as I love and enjoy having family here and I've always thought that their trip was shorter than I liked, I am so curious how this is going to work out.
Even after their first close call, their quick take off out before the air was too ashy, I never thought that our train rides to Venice and back would be effected. But, that wasn't all we were in for. I've ridden in OeBB trains many times and every time was very pleasant in 1st and 2nd class. This was my first night trip. To my dismay, our train car was not what I was expecting. We were originally put in a Liegenwagon - the cheap sleeping cars with 6 beds - that were not made out with sheets or pillows, but still more restful than sitting upright. I. went to sleep and all was going well. Then, after the OeBB part of the train divided off at Salzburg, the new conductor woke up C. and I. with a start (P. and I were exploring the train, unsuccessfully looking for food), turned on all the lights, and told her we were not allowed to sleep like that, and reset the room for two benches facing each other, with no dividers or anything to lean on in the middle. Needless to say, we were not fans of this man. We were all so tired, none of us thought to pay to switch seats. But before long, the whole train was filled with people sitting the hall way next to our room. I'm sure being in a room helped with noise but the heat was terrible.
Long story short, we arrived at the train stations a little worse for the wear. The sunny day that was forecast gave way to scattered rain. But, J. and A. met with us and the showed us around this glorious city! Venice was such a perfect combination of Old Word decaying decadence city and a clean, friendly tourist town. It really is the perfect place of a Honeymoon or some other "do nothing" vacation. The little mask stores were a little redundant, but the cafes were great. We found one right on the Grand Canal to get a cup of coffee, hot chocolate, and sweet things but were all feeling so comfortable (and tired and not wanting to walk in the rain) we stayed for dinner. It was a great place for people watching, but mostly I enjoyed getting to talk with my friends and play with little I.
We went back to the train station early to try to upgrade our seats. C. got in the ticket purchasing line while J. and I searched for information. After some time in the information lines, I finally got into the office and explained my situation to the clerk. He laughed in my face! He then apologized to told me that there no seats available leaving Venice for the next 5 days. That's right. All these people standing in the 3 hours in all these lines were just trying to somewhere, standing. He explained that the conductor would be happy to upgrade us to whatever he had available if there was a cancellation or something, but he could not help us - but we should realize our luck!
So, sadly, we were on exactly the same train going back. But, we understood where we stood in the world. I talked to the conductor and he, in a stained voice explained that someone had even double booked one of the sleeping rooms and he had no idea what he was going to do. He had asked for another car for the train, but he was denied. I wanted to give him a hug. He seemed genuinely concerned for the people as though he was our host, caught without enough rooms. It was such a different attitude than the last guy we dealt with! Plus, how he had the cars set, the headrests were low enough and rapped around so we could lean on them to sleep. I. and I slept pretty well I think. P&C were so forgone from jet lag and then dealing with a sleepy child, I have no idea how it was for them. After I slept until 4 I got up and gave Paul my comfy window seat and explored. I watched the sun rise in Austria with a guy who gave me his extra yogurt drink and some cookies (his group was very prepared!) And, by then most of the crowds had gone, so I found an empty bed with some American students and fell asleep until we were almost of Vienna.
Needless to say, I'm much better rested than P&C so today we're all taking an "easy day" at home. Vienna waits for us outside and I'm okay with that.
Even after their first close call, their quick take off out before the air was too ashy, I never thought that our train rides to Venice and back would be effected. But, that wasn't all we were in for. I've ridden in OeBB trains many times and every time was very pleasant in 1st and 2nd class. This was my first night trip. To my dismay, our train car was not what I was expecting. We were originally put in a Liegenwagon - the cheap sleeping cars with 6 beds - that were not made out with sheets or pillows, but still more restful than sitting upright. I. went to sleep and all was going well. Then, after the OeBB part of the train divided off at Salzburg, the new conductor woke up C. and I. with a start (P. and I were exploring the train, unsuccessfully looking for food), turned on all the lights, and told her we were not allowed to sleep like that, and reset the room for two benches facing each other, with no dividers or anything to lean on in the middle. Needless to say, we were not fans of this man. We were all so tired, none of us thought to pay to switch seats. But before long, the whole train was filled with people sitting the hall way next to our room. I'm sure being in a room helped with noise but the heat was terrible.
Long story short, we arrived at the train stations a little worse for the wear. The sunny day that was forecast gave way to scattered rain. But, J. and A. met with us and the showed us around this glorious city! Venice was such a perfect combination of Old Word decaying decadence city and a clean, friendly tourist town. It really is the perfect place of a Honeymoon or some other "do nothing" vacation. The little mask stores were a little redundant, but the cafes were great. We found one right on the Grand Canal to get a cup of coffee, hot chocolate, and sweet things but were all feeling so comfortable (and tired and not wanting to walk in the rain) we stayed for dinner. It was a great place for people watching, but mostly I enjoyed getting to talk with my friends and play with little I.
We went back to the train station early to try to upgrade our seats. C. got in the ticket purchasing line while J. and I searched for information. After some time in the information lines, I finally got into the office and explained my situation to the clerk. He laughed in my face! He then apologized to told me that there no seats available leaving Venice for the next 5 days. That's right. All these people standing in the 3 hours in all these lines were just trying to somewhere, standing. He explained that the conductor would be happy to upgrade us to whatever he had available if there was a cancellation or something, but he could not help us - but we should realize our luck!
So, sadly, we were on exactly the same train going back. But, we understood where we stood in the world. I talked to the conductor and he, in a stained voice explained that someone had even double booked one of the sleeping rooms and he had no idea what he was going to do. He had asked for another car for the train, but he was denied. I wanted to give him a hug. He seemed genuinely concerned for the people as though he was our host, caught without enough rooms. It was such a different attitude than the last guy we dealt with! Plus, how he had the cars set, the headrests were low enough and rapped around so we could lean on them to sleep. I. and I slept pretty well I think. P&C were so forgone from jet lag and then dealing with a sleepy child, I have no idea how it was for them. After I slept until 4 I got up and gave Paul my comfy window seat and explored. I watched the sun rise in Austria with a guy who gave me his extra yogurt drink and some cookies (his group was very prepared!) And, by then most of the crowds had gone, so I found an empty bed with some American students and fell asleep until we were almost of Vienna.
Needless to say, I'm much better rested than P&C so today we're all taking an "easy day" at home. Vienna waits for us outside and I'm okay with that.
23 February 2010
(more than a) Tree Hugger
Somethings things God has been showing me lately, here in Vienna: what He wants in his kingdom and a little about how He wants to use me to help create that here on earth.
I know it's no different than anyone else who converts to Christ-followerness. Supernaturally, through the blood sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus, we have become co-heirs and have responsibilities that go way beyond "take care of the earth" stuff. I mean, that's a no brainer. Every one knows that if we don't take care of the earth, we will suffer the consequences - we are suffering the consequences of wrong doing throughout the ages and what we do now will affect those who go behind us. Here in Vienna, the state has done a pretty impressive job of that. It's nice to breath clean air and for many people to have jobs.
But, I'm starting to understand better about how God wants something more. More than good behavior here on earth. He wants heaven on earth. He wants to be reconciled to his creation. That's why Jesus came: to make it possible for God to call his children home once and for all.
All Christians have something called a ministry. I used to think this meant official church good deeds, but I'm starting to get that it's how Christ-followers act like Christ every day. We show and remind people what our God is like and how He wants the world to love Him as much as he loves us. Man, if we only understood. . .
I read the story of Jonah for the thousandth time Sunday night. I was praying for a two friends who have created a rift between each other, for A. because his mother died, for N. in Haiti, for a church going to South Africa, and for the people who came to my house on Friday... so I was only half reading. But then the end of the story caught me. You know, the end of the story that everyone forgets because it's after the ticker-tape parades in the city that God spared.
Jonah's sitting there expecting the city to be destroyed, even after they repented from their oppressive and corrupt ways, because Jonah didn't like them and he wanted God to take them off the map. They were morally repugnant to him. Plus, he was really annoyed because there wasn't much vegetation where he went to watch the show of Nineveh's demise. God made a tree for Jonah's comfort, but God sent a worm to take away the tree the next day so Jonah wasn't comfortable. (I sometimes wonder why God did that - to give a tree for comfort and then a worm to destroy that comfort. There's a tree motif throughout the scriptures that's a little complex for me sometimes.)
But, then God asks his reluctant prophet, "'Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?' 'Yes,' he replied, 'It is right. I'm angry enough to die.'"
"So the Lord said, 'You cared about the plant, which you did no labor over and did not grow. . . Should I not care about the great city of Nineveh, which has more than 120,000 people who cannot distinguish between their right and the left, as well as the animals?'" - End Book
God really cared about the people of Nineveh and he was annoyed by this guy who knew the scriptures, knew God and yet didn't understand God's heart. He wanted to spare them, but He also knows what evil can do to his world and was willing to do what it takes to bring balance in the world - even if that means ending lives. Sometimes, I want God to send a lightening bolt after the last sentence to teach JOanh a lesson about insensitivity, but then I realize that I'm a little like Jonah for thinking that.
God wants to show his mercy to the earth. The Bible says that, "creation waits with anticipation for God's sons to be revealed." And it also says that we will be revealed by our love.
So, my job here on this earth is: to aid in the discipleship of people into sons and daughters of God who are known and tested by acting like Him. The best way to do this is to openly live out my own transformation and to explain the teaching of Christ that promoted the the changes and pray that this Spirit would indwell in our hearts and change us from the inside out. I think I'll do that best by doing what I already do, but with a more defined underlying purpose, and take things to the next level when I get the opportunity. Like, I really what to start a new Bible study with some of the people I've met lately who are agnostic or whatever, but are interested in Jesus - and I think it's because they get that creation is longing for Something.
```
Am I becoming more:
loving
joyful
peaceful
Patient
kind
faithful
gentle
self-controlled?
Because of God's work, I think I am. But after watching Francis Chan's video about the persecuted church I am more than ever convinced that this is all that my life truly comes down to. My singing may be enjoyable, but only valuable if if points to joy in Christ. My writing may be enlightening, but only if it points to faithfulness and peace with Christ. I want my life to be a reflection of Christ, the redeemer of the world, so that others will come to him and be spared from the falling apart of this world and come to God now and for eternity.
I know it's no different than anyone else who converts to Christ-followerness. Supernaturally, through the blood sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus, we have become co-heirs and have responsibilities that go way beyond "take care of the earth" stuff. I mean, that's a no brainer. Every one knows that if we don't take care of the earth, we will suffer the consequences - we are suffering the consequences of wrong doing throughout the ages and what we do now will affect those who go behind us. Here in Vienna, the state has done a pretty impressive job of that. It's nice to breath clean air and for many people to have jobs.
But, I'm starting to understand better about how God wants something more. More than good behavior here on earth. He wants heaven on earth. He wants to be reconciled to his creation. That's why Jesus came: to make it possible for God to call his children home once and for all.
All Christians have something called a ministry. I used to think this meant official church good deeds, but I'm starting to get that it's how Christ-followers act like Christ every day. We show and remind people what our God is like and how He wants the world to love Him as much as he loves us. Man, if we only understood. . .
I read the story of Jonah for the thousandth time Sunday night. I was praying for a two friends who have created a rift between each other, for A. because his mother died, for N. in Haiti, for a church going to South Africa, and for the people who came to my house on Friday... so I was only half reading. But then the end of the story caught me. You know, the end of the story that everyone forgets because it's after the ticker-tape parades in the city that God spared.
Jonah's sitting there expecting the city to be destroyed, even after they repented from their oppressive and corrupt ways, because Jonah didn't like them and he wanted God to take them off the map. They were morally repugnant to him. Plus, he was really annoyed because there wasn't much vegetation where he went to watch the show of Nineveh's demise. God made a tree for Jonah's comfort, but God sent a worm to take away the tree the next day so Jonah wasn't comfortable. (I sometimes wonder why God did that - to give a tree for comfort and then a worm to destroy that comfort. There's a tree motif throughout the scriptures that's a little complex for me sometimes.)
But, then God asks his reluctant prophet, "'Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?' 'Yes,' he replied, 'It is right. I'm angry enough to die.'"
"So the Lord said, 'You cared about the plant, which you did no labor over and did not grow. . . Should I not care about the great city of Nineveh, which has more than 120,000 people who cannot distinguish between their right and the left, as well as the animals?'" - End Book
God really cared about the people of Nineveh and he was annoyed by this guy who knew the scriptures, knew God and yet didn't understand God's heart. He wanted to spare them, but He also knows what evil can do to his world and was willing to do what it takes to bring balance in the world - even if that means ending lives. Sometimes, I want God to send a lightening bolt after the last sentence to teach JOanh a lesson about insensitivity, but then I realize that I'm a little like Jonah for thinking that.
God wants to show his mercy to the earth. The Bible says that, "creation waits with anticipation for God's sons to be revealed." And it also says that we will be revealed by our love.
So, my job here on this earth is: to aid in the discipleship of people into sons and daughters of God who are known and tested by acting like Him. The best way to do this is to openly live out my own transformation and to explain the teaching of Christ that promoted the the changes and pray that this Spirit would indwell in our hearts and change us from the inside out. I think I'll do that best by doing what I already do, but with a more defined underlying purpose, and take things to the next level when I get the opportunity. Like, I really what to start a new Bible study with some of the people I've met lately who are agnostic or whatever, but are interested in Jesus - and I think it's because they get that creation is longing for Something.
```
Am I becoming more:
loving
joyful
peaceful
Patient
kind
faithful
gentle
self-controlled?
Because of God's work, I think I am. But after watching Francis Chan's video about the persecuted church I am more than ever convinced that this is all that my life truly comes down to. My singing may be enjoyable, but only valuable if if points to joy in Christ. My writing may be enlightening, but only if it points to faithfulness and peace with Christ. I want my life to be a reflection of Christ, the redeemer of the world, so that others will come to him and be spared from the falling apart of this world and come to God now and for eternity.
10 February 2010
Who We Are
Today, my teammates and I got together to talk about who we are so that we will know how best to move forward together. We each had 7 minutes to explain our essence, how dream job, our love language, or pet peeves, etc. We're a bunch of extroverts who like alone time. Except for those who are introverts who don't mind coming out their shells for the sake of people they care for. Some of our team see themselves primarily by their functions. Some by their aspirations. Well all had different ways of expressing all these facts. Some told parts of their biographies, others had printed out bullet points. One woman wrote her speech out neatly on five note cards. Some finished in 3 minutes and had to be further questioned. I, of course, had to cut my thoughts short.
I'm so glad I'm on this team of people who are similar but different; have the same God but experience Him in different ways; have the same Gospel but express it in our lives differently. But more, I'm so glad that we seem to trust each other. There is a sense of family. Maybe it's our common commitment to help others reach their potential as well as our own submission to the loving will of God, but I feel I can be my best, most abandoned version of myself with these people. I don't say that lightly or to make those who are not in this kind of situation envious. I just want to say that I'm grateful. And that I'm looking forward to the best year of my life so far.
I'm so glad I'm on this team of people who are similar but different; have the same God but experience Him in different ways; have the same Gospel but express it in our lives differently. But more, I'm so glad that we seem to trust each other. There is a sense of family. Maybe it's our common commitment to help others reach their potential as well as our own submission to the loving will of God, but I feel I can be my best, most abandoned version of myself with these people. I don't say that lightly or to make those who are not in this kind of situation envious. I just want to say that I'm grateful. And that I'm looking forward to the best year of my life so far.
14 January 2010
Needs and Obligation
Like everyone, my mind has drifted back and forth today between my mundane moments to the catastrophic events going on on an island far away. I am glad for my sister-in-law's timing of asking for Charity: Water donations for her recent birthday because they are one of the groups fighting to keep people alive and that money is already being put to work. But is that enough? Of course not. I'm still processing how I can help from here with the budget I have.
Today I read a little about the authority of God. He does have the authority to do whatever he wants. Like it says in Isaiah 46:9-10 "Remember what happened long ago, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God and no one is like Me. I declare the end from the beginning, and for long ago what is not yet done, saying My plan will take place, and I will do all My will." So what does this all-powerful God will? Look at the next verses, "Listen to me, you hardhearted, far removed from justice: I am bringing My justice near; it is not far away, and my salvation will not delay. I will put salvation in Zion, my splendor in Israel."
God is a God of justice and salvation. Yes, we live in a world where catastrophic things happen. There is lack and pain. But God's actions in this world (in scripture) always have the goal of drawing people's attention to himself, to heal and reconcile in the end. He does His will and he never acts outside of his character even when we don't understand how it will work together. This all comes to a potent point when Jesus died to take on the curses that bound us and He overcame the sting of death by His resurrection. That's why we should always be among the first people to get out there to help and protect those who are hurting. We are his healing hands on this earth with God's Spirit in us. Clearly we are failing to be obedient - maybe we are just fooling ourselves to say we are Jesus' followers at all. At least when we see horrible things on our TVs or computer monitors we remember than our mundane lives could be different. We could step out and make sure that this world is more just and healthy because those who claim to have a relationship with God also act like it.
Today I read a little about the authority of God. He does have the authority to do whatever he wants. Like it says in Isaiah 46:9-10 "Remember what happened long ago, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God and no one is like Me. I declare the end from the beginning, and for long ago what is not yet done, saying My plan will take place, and I will do all My will." So what does this all-powerful God will? Look at the next verses, "Listen to me, you hardhearted, far removed from justice: I am bringing My justice near; it is not far away, and my salvation will not delay. I will put salvation in Zion, my splendor in Israel."
God is a God of justice and salvation. Yes, we live in a world where catastrophic things happen. There is lack and pain. But God's actions in this world (in scripture) always have the goal of drawing people's attention to himself, to heal and reconcile in the end. He does His will and he never acts outside of his character even when we don't understand how it will work together. This all comes to a potent point when Jesus died to take on the curses that bound us and He overcame the sting of death by His resurrection. That's why we should always be among the first people to get out there to help and protect those who are hurting. We are his healing hands on this earth with God's Spirit in us. Clearly we are failing to be obedient - maybe we are just fooling ourselves to say we are Jesus' followers at all. At least when we see horrible things on our TVs or computer monitors we remember than our mundane lives could be different. We could step out and make sure that this world is more just and healthy because those who claim to have a relationship with God also act like it.
09 January 2010
Colds are Weird
So I have been laying in bed for the past 5 days. I'm so over being sick, but the dumb bug has not completely moved on. At least now my brain has cleared enough that I can fold laundry, write some thank you notes, and - oh yes - stay up until 5am reorganizing my life! Yeah. I don't know what that was about. But last night I went nuts and reorganized my desk. To be clear, didn't actually get out of bed until about 11pm and I layed down to try to go back to sleep a couple of times but my brain was starved for real-world interactions.
So I guess I was quasi nocturnal at this point. However, today I made myself get up so I have some chance of normal sleeping patterns some time in the next few days. I have to go to immigration (for real this time; not just saying so and then getting sick like this week) at 7:30 on Monday so I've got to figure out something. I thought about keeping closer to my current patterns by just staying up, but then I remembered that I am meeting my new teammates later than day AND Uni choir starts. Must be well rested for a long day. And oh, I need to get passport pictures today for my residency card in case they ever decide to give me one...
Just thought I'd get back in the habit of blogging. Check and maybe I'll actually post something of substance at some point. Probably not.
So I guess I was quasi nocturnal at this point. However, today I made myself get up so I have some chance of normal sleeping patterns some time in the next few days. I have to go to immigration (for real this time; not just saying so and then getting sick like this week) at 7:30 on Monday so I've got to figure out something. I thought about keeping closer to my current patterns by just staying up, but then I remembered that I am meeting my new teammates later than day AND Uni choir starts. Must be well rested for a long day. And oh, I need to get passport pictures today for my residency card in case they ever decide to give me one...
Just thought I'd get back in the habit of blogging. Check and maybe I'll actually post something of substance at some point. Probably not.
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