On the Way

Wrote this on the train. I'm sorry that things don't come out of me like they used to, but this probably only bothers me. Anyway, this is what I was thinking about:

I’ve been riding since Geneva, three countries and four trains ago. Sometimes looking at the beautiful views, thinking, and sometimes sleeping. I love how trains rock me to sleep. Right now I’m watching out the window, experiencing my first train ride in the rain somewhere in Germany or Austria, I’m not sure where. As much as I have loved the sun shine the past week, I’ve missed the rain and welcome the gray sky. As I look back on the past two weeks or so, I’m taken aback by God’s great hand revealing itself so clearly. I think of my grandfather’s death. How surprisingly it reminded me of my purpose to rescue the perishing; of the worship with my fellow workers; of tears of awe and gratitude.

Right now I’m reminded of a week ago. Last Thursday walking home from dinner, many of us found the steep wooded path back to the hotel too dark. I remembered that I had a small flashlight (thanks to my mother’s passion for them) in my day pack. After I guided my own group, to lighter places, I guided others who were behind us. Martha remarked as I guided her group that this was symbolic of my life’s mission and I agree with her. All the same, as I get closer to home, I wonder what that will look like. I feel so ill prepared.

My mind goes back to yesterday, when I was hanging from a gondola with my aunt and uncle, visibly trembling and clutching my aunt hand as we ascended to a peak of Mont Blanc. I felt so completely out of control and so at awe of the scope of the thing we were climbing at a rocking pace. At times I thought there was no way I could survive. There as an silence among my fellow travelers that told me even the well worn travelers were not immune to the sheer magnitude of the heights we were taking on. Of the view. Of God’s majesty stretched across miles and miles in clear view; above the tree line; above the clouds; where the snow never melts away. We reached the top and I was exhilarated by the views and the adventurers who had clearly climbed their way there; People who had camped on the mountain top. I felt so ashamed of myself for trembling at the thought of taking the gondola back down, but I had no idea what to expect. As it turned out, the trip was not a harrowing as I feared. I was able to marvel at the sites without fear of death.

I pray that I similar thing will happen with my life work. I pray I will have the courage to face the heights far beyond me. I pray that will be challenged by those far more accomplished than me. I pray I will find that I can marvel without fear of anything but the awe of pleasing God.